Six years ago I started meditating out of desperation and because numbers don’t lie.
I had crippling performance anxiety as a musician and I was desperate to gain command of my mind. I was face planting in auditions over and over again. My body would go into fight or flight, my fear based mind would take over and it was game over.
My heart was weary. I had tried beta blockers, a plethora of other variously scheduled substances and nothing was working. I couldn’t numb my way out of the block.
The numbers didn’t lie either. I was annoyed by that.
As someone who had been obsessed with personal development since high school, I couldn’t name one book that didn’t recommend meditation. Multiple performers and teachers were recommending meditation. My first coach brought up meditation. The data and the science were clear.
Just like looking at a bank account that stings - the numbers didn’t lie. I was annoyed and at the same time, I could not look away.
I surrendered to the truth.
And then, I did the brave thing.
I had no idea what kind of can of worms I was opening when I committed to meditation.
Sure, it was excruciatingly uncomfortable at first. However, this was not the surprising part to me.
I knew I had been running away from my inner shadows for years through all kinds of addictions. I knew they would meet me head on when I got sober, still and quiet. That they did.
It was inevitable and it was painful. And yet, it was the part after that grabbed my attention and truly brought me to my knees in the best way.
I use the language of “commitment” very intentionally. As a classical musician, I knew that nothing moves the needle without consistency and follow through.
When I committed to meditation, I committed to showing up through all the uncomfortable things that would make me want to stop. These are the very reasons why most people stop meditating or never even begin.
It was through this commitment that I was able to get to the other side and discover what meditation actually is. It’s my intention that in sharing the “light on the other side” that it can empower you to stay in it even when you’re wildly uncomfortable and you want to quit.
Everyone has a relationship with themselves, however, most people are not conscious of it. Meditation allows for this to be revealed. Self-talk, thoughts, beliefs and everything else come bubbling to the surface. From this awareness, you can begin on creating how and what you want to experience.
After the initial discovery of the current status of the relationship with self, meditation is slathering it with love. Sitting from the observer seat, you can consciously cultivate love toward yourself. Every thought and belief gets to be put through the love filter and neutral gaze. Self-love is the first step in loving anything or anyone in this world. It ripples out to everything. Meditation is a deep, sacred and loving relationship with self.
When someone’s inner world is brought to light and then doused in love, it up-levels every single other relationship in people’s lives. This is meditation. What happens on the cushion, ripples out into every word, interaction, behavior, decision, email and even smile on the street. Want to have better relationships with others? This is meditation.
Meditation opens a portal to people’s potential and success because they are empowered to choose their own thoughts and beliefs. They no longer are a victim or slave to their fight or flight response. They can access their potential. Every single person I know that is living at or near their potential meditates in some way because it’s their portal to their highest self.
Anytime I get to use the phrase, “like a boss”, I take full advantage! Why because it’s fun and it exudes power. Meditation is navigating your inner world like a boss. And, your inner world is what is reflected in your outer world. Meditation is not having a sparkling clean inner dialogue or life, it’s navigating and wielding it for good. It’s deflecting and busting the bullshit stories that used to run the show and continuing to live your day. It’s navigating and yes, doing it like a boss.
I believe that all humans are innately loving, peaceful, creative and free. However, this is not who many people actually are in the world. What holds them back? Their inner world and their shadows. Meditation closes the gap between who you are and who you’re being in the world.
It’s pausing instead of snapping back. It’s responding instead of reacting. It’s asking instead of assuming. It’s choosing love and telling fear to hit the high road. Meditation is all of this and more. Meditation closes this gap.
Peace is what is available to those who meditate and live in relationship with themselves consistently. When victimhood, perfectionism, fear, scary thoughts, limiting beliefs and blocks are gone, what’s left? Peace.
When all of that is wiped away, it’s peace. Peace with yourself, who you are, the world around you and more. You nervous system and your heart get to lean back and relax. You are peace.
Peace and joy are bffs in my book. It’s pretty rare to have one without the other. When peace is in the room, joy follows. Joy can be fully embodied and expressed in a free and peaceful person. This is meditation. Joy is Meditation. Meditation is joy.
Peaceful and joyful, meditation lastly is freedom. Meditation is cutting the chains of your internal prison and giving yourself permission to fully live! Once the bullshit has been stripped away, life is pretty darn good! Once you can navigate your inner life like a boss, you can finally see how amazing this all is. And, how lucky that you’re here and get to live it!
Six years ago I started meditating, from the numbers and desperation, because I wanted to gain command of my mind for auditions. I wanted to win.
Well, in 2018 my first win was a major one. I won a world-renowned job in the US Navy band. Something that most people never accomplish in their lifetime.
I credit this to meditation. Not only did I play at my absolute peak multiple times during that high pressure situation, I was HAVING FUN. I was only able to access that part of myself because of meditation.
Meditation gave me my wings.
It was the same meditation that allowed me to stay rooted in my truth and not accept the coveted job and instead pivot toward my dharma in life, which is sharing this possibility and way of living to impact humanity for the better.
Meditation helps me win a life. It gave me so much more than I ever thought possible. All of the love, joy, fulfillment, relationships and peace that I truly did not think was an option is now laid before me at the beginning of each and every day. And, it didn’t happen on accident.
I chose this. I committed to this. I did the brave the over and over - I stayed in it.
Today, I invite you to explore this for yourself too. Past that initial “holy shit”, the dust settles.
What meditation actually is, this light on the other side, is waiting for you too.
Starting July 1st, I am holding a 30 Day Meditation Devotion called “I Meditate” for beginner meditators or those that want to explore and deepen their meditation practice.
“I Meditate” is a non-dogmatic space where you show up as is, learn different techniques and have a loving community of accountability as you build a practice that resonates with you. It's not about right or wrong, it's about showing up. I Meditate is a place of learning and discovery all through extending a loving hug to YOU through this practice.
This is a commitment and devotion. We will meet live every day for meditation from July 1st-30th with a celebration and reflection on July 31st. I will hold a space for you to discover, learn meditation techniques, offer guidance spend time with yourself, navigate your inner world and gain the ability to live peacefully and successfully as you'd like to.
For the price of a daily latte, you can create your inner peace. The question is, will you?
Enroll in "I Meditate" to build your practice, a community and quite possibly, access your highest self and deepest peace.
It could very well be the most important thing you ever do. And through this experience, you will actually stick with it and embody it consistently!
Finally be able to say, "I Meditate".
In love, potential and limitless peace,